Sacrifices
by Gorsecloud
Summary: Sometimes, the things Luke had to give up for the sake of the world were beyond cruel... - Slight AU, Post Tower of Rem. -


**AU-ish plot bunny that hit me at 2:30 am as I was trying to sleep. Spoilers for post-Tower of Rem. LukexTear elements, but not too severe.**

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><p><span>Sacrifices<span>

It was painful to see him like this, pale and wan, sleeping on a hospital bed, his red hair splayed across the pillow like dying flames. Not that it didn't hurt when he was awake too, bored with the sterile atmosphere of the research facility masquerading as a hospital. He was allowed outside sometimes, for fresh air - as fresh as the air around Belkend was - and for a change of atmosphere. But whenever she was there with him at those times, there were frequent instances - all too frequent - where he'd wince, turn away and try to hide the part of his body that started flickering in and out of existence. As if she couldn't tell anyway.

He'd rather have been out there, fighting with her and the others, doing what he could to stop her brother. But it was all too likely they'd both him and Asch to face Van and free Lorelei, and when the rate of his fonon separation had suddenly spiked, Jade had insisted that he check in for Dr. Shu's treatments…. to hold him over until the final battle.

It also meant, far too often, she had to leave him.

She was needed - they were _all_ needed, for their continuing fight. Her brother was doing everything he could to stop them, and they still needed to shut down the Planet Storm. They simply couldn't spare anybody. She hated _hated _leaving him behind, with no one there - not even Mieu, since they needed the Sorcerer's Ring to remove obstacles and solve puzzles in their way. They'd sent word to Luke's family in Baticul, but the Lady Susanne was too frail to make the journey, and while Duke Fabre had come to visit… Luke hadn't seemed very comforted when she saw him afterward.

She reached a hand out tentatively, gently brushed her fingers through his bangs. He deserved better than this. He deserved for his last days and weeks to be spent happy, with his friends and those he cared about. Not alone in some white-walled hospital room, with nothing to do but contemplate the time he had left and all he had left to do, that he simply could not accomplish. He always gave up so much for the sake of the world: after Akzeriuth, he'd always put the world and its people before himself, till he thought he had no worth at all. At the Tower of Rem, he'd been willing to give up his life, and now, here… he was giving up most of the happiness in his remaining days.

Because that was what the world needed.

The treatments themselves were not easy either: they wore him out, made it difficult for him to eat and walk. From how she understood it, it involved trying to encourage his remaining fonons to bind together more strongly, while simultaneously giving him more. But the effect was like slapping a tiny patch over a giant crack in a ship's hull, and pouring water through a sieve. It wasn't enough, it would never be enough.

He shifted a little in his sleep, his face scrunching up into a frown as he drew himself up into a ball. Her mouth tightened into a thin line, knowing what was about to happen.

There was a soft warm light, so different from the icy cold of the overhead lights in the hospital room. She could _feel_the fonons dispersing slowly, this time from his left hand - as it flickered and glowed. There was no point trying to touch it. Anything that did so would go right through it, and Dr. Shu had said that doing so might have adverse effects on the affected area. She did, however, move her hand, from his bangs to his arm, gently moving it so his hand posed no risk of sinking into the bed itself.

It lasted for perhaps a minute, though it felt like much longer, before the glow abated and Luke's hand became solid again. The frequency and duration of these instances would only increase as his time drew near, from what Dr. Shu had said. It was still impossible to determine how much time he had left, though they doubted it was much more than a few weeks, a month on a good day.

His eyelids fluttered - a disappearing episode almost always woke him up. "Tear?" he shifted a little under the blankets, staring blearily up at her, "When… did you get here?"

Her throat was tight, but for as much as her voice shook, there might as well have been nothing wrong at all. "Just a little while ago. How are you feeling?"

"Better," he said with a weak smile. It was a lie. It always was. And yet it probably wasn't, too, because Shu reported that his condition always improved slightly, while they were there. Not enough to make up for the deterioration, of course, but… more likely than not it was simply a matter of morale. Which of course, meant that when they were gone...

"That's good," she replied, with a smile she sincerely hoped was stronger than his. "I've spoken with Dr. Shu, and he said I could help you outside, if you want." She swallowed down the lump that was continuing to grow in her throat. "Everyone's waiting out there."

The way his face brightened was answer enough.

They got to the door - him stumbling a little - and opened it, only to find Guy waiting on the other side. The blonde stood up, smiling easily, reaching forward to ruffle Luke's hair and ask how he was doing. Tear let them take the lead outside, watching as they talked and joked, Luke leaning against Guy for support. Guy was a much better actor than she, at times like this, probably what Luke needed. She could only guess though, by the set of Guy's shoulders as he held Luke's, that this wasn't any easier on him.

The fresh air was a relief even to her - who knew how much more so it must be for Luke? That, and seeing the others - Anise's giggling, Jade's typical smirk, Natalia clasping her hands, even the dark glare Asch (who'd begun traveling with their group out of pure necessity) leveled his way before stalking off to the inn.

Yet there was a sort of reservedness. Anise did not run forward to hang off of him as she usually did, and the way Natalia reached out to hug him was so tentative, as if he were made of glass and she feared to break him. She caught Jade giving him sidelong glances of appraisal before he noticed her looking and adjusted his glasses so his expression was no longer visible, and she knew he was wondering the same thing she was - how much more time?

Time, time, so much of their enemy here was time, not her brother. Time before he finished replicating the land, time before Luke died, time that they needed but didn't have.

They stayed out there for a half hour or so, before Shu came and found them, to remind Luke it was time for another treatment, and Jade reminded the rest of them that they needed to prepare for their departure the next day. They would stay for the night. They always did. They would even eat their nightly meal with Luke, if they could. The medical facilities in Belkend were not well-equipped for dining, but Shu did his best to accommodate them, for which they were all grateful.

She and Guy helped him back to the room where he'd receive treatments, both knowing they wouldn't be able to stay. The equipment was too delicate, the process too precise. Guy gently clapped him on the shoulder. She simply stammered a farewell, so many things she wanted to say but couldn't. Leaving - however temporary, was the worst part. There was always a moment of bright fear in his eyes - would he live long enough to see them again? What if something happened because he wasn't there to protect them?

The look was more than likely mirrored in her own. What if Van or one of the God-generals somehow learned of what was happening, and arranged for someone to finish Luke off so he couldn't help out when the time came to face her brother? He was alone there. Alone and unprotected, save by some scientists and the Kimlascan forces and White Knights Duke Fabre had sent to guard the location. And… well her own attempts to assassinate Van had proven how effective those were. Even if he lived until the final battle, there was no way he could fight Van like this. He was just too weak, too likely a target, and an effective one too, given how likely they would need him to free Lorelei.

But more importantly, what if he wasn't there when she next came back? What if he was just... gone, with no traces left behind, as if he'd never existed in the first place? And none of them... none of them would have been there. He'd have died alone, all by himself, with no one there to care-

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up into emerald-green eyes, bright with that very fear but also filled with warmth.

"I'll be okay," he said, "I'll… I'll see you later, okay?"

She nodded. She trusted him. She'd trusted him to change, and he had. He wouldn't disappear. Not now, at least.

She just had to believe that. No matter how much it hurt.

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><p>"Can't we at least leave Mieu with him, this time?" Ansie asked pointedly, mouth twisting worriedly.<p>

"Mieuuuu, I'm worried about Master…" the cheagle sighed, looking - without any real hope - at the designated leader of the party, with Luke out of commission.

Jade sighed. "You know as well as I that time is of the essence," he replied equally pointedly, "At this point, we can't even afford the delay it would take to return here for Mieu and the Sorcerer's Ring, should we need him. We still have yet to shut down the Radiation Gate. After that point, however, Luke will be able to rejoin as we face Van and free Lorelei."

"As we take him on a quest that'll more than likely kill him," Guy commented darkly, leaning on the wall of the medical facility, arms folded and face set.

Jade adjusted his glasses neatly. "Yes," was all he said, voice quiet, not even a hint of sarcasm.

"He must be so frightened," Natalia said sadly looking down at her clasped hands, "And we can't even be here for him in his time of need."

"We will simply do what we must," Jade really had the art of emotional detachment down far too well, it was enough to make Guy straighten up and walk off, clearly unhappy. The Malkuth Colonel merely turned his attention to the others. "I suggest we be heading back, for now. We'll see Luke later on this evening."

Reluctantly, one by one, they acquiesced, heading in the direction of the inn they were staying at. Soon enough, only two were left.

"Tear?" Jade called. The hymnist was lost in though, staring at the doorway leading into the facility.

"Hm?" she startled, turning to stare at him, "Oh. Yes… I understand." And she too turned and left with a heavy heart, not bearing to glance back at the lonely doorway, and the equally lonely person she knew lay beyond.


End file.
